BEARLIN

"Check this out baby-alumni can't resist the claw," I said to Cat as we crept up on the Baylor alumni gathered for Dia Del Oso-Germany.

Popped the claw and howled a, "HEYYYYYYYYYYYYY(then joined by all assembled)YYYYYYYYY-SIC 'EM BEARS!"

Getting ahead of myself though, we discovered escape was plausible just the night before when I was let off the hook to be a chauffeur(or colorful word of choice), for a visiting 3 star general. Awaking way early, which doesn't matter because the sun comes up here at 3 AM, we lit out for the Hauptbanhof for some last minute tickets to the capitol of the fatherland-Berlin.

A real, "Trans Europe Express," four hours of crossing German countryside only interrupted by some smelly German kids (yeah, they stank), who had reserved the seats we were sitting in. We got bumped-lesson learned. Ha-I gave a slang lesson to the kids too.

After establishing ourselves in the hotel, (oh yeah check out these beds, the register read, "Mr and Mrs. Clough but it may have well been Lucy and Ricky Ricardo), we hit the metro.


That city's public transportation is rad, very easy to get around and everything you want to see is completely within a 15-20 min ride max. Very efficient indeed...the Kaiser keeps the trains on time. On to the beer garden whence the alumni gathered.

There was a medium group with all ages represented and we even watched some cheese-fest of Baylor faculty wishing us a happy Dia Del Oso-2006 (not a typo). There was swag though, BU cups, stickers, mints-yes! The folks were all amicable, despite our boisterous introduction.

The next activity was the bike ride around the city, via Fat Tire Bicycles, (not associated w/ the beer, Click). This excellent introduction to the city was a great way to see everything and plan out the sights you want to see for the rest of the trip. We had a sarcastic ex-pat Aussie who was hilarious as a guide. We started off winging around the TV tower with a metallic ball skewered like an olive on a martini toothpick. Those wacky East Germans, (Commie, atheist types), wanted to prove their technological superiority over the West by erecting this thing only to be kicked in the teeth when the sun would shine and create a cross in the olive portion.

Pedaled to a square with a view of the roof top where WW I was declared, and later the first outspoken communist had his say to the masses. Riding on, we hit the very square where in 1939, Indiana Jones had the grail diary signed by the biggest douche bag in history while his legion of butt-monkeys were burning thousands of books they disapproved of. This site is in front of the university where Einstein, the Brothers Grimm and other notable Germans studied.

Clipped over to the former border next, Checkpoint Charlie, where in 1921 Charlie Chaplin was said to have declared anyone else in history that anyone stealing his sweet 'stache style, "would be a douche bag." As you can see in the picture, they let anyone over these days, even the senior citizens in the background that wouldn't move. But dig the Hummer entering from the Western side and the public bus leaving from the Eastern. YES, not only did we win over communism but also winning the war on global warming-in your face!

This is an excellent place to really discover the polarization of the cold war; whether through the myriad signs posted about the history of the area or the museum adjacent(warning: it resembles a collage of 6th grade social studies projects up on the walls with an eclectic and disorganized array of escape devices, but somehow worth seeing so bring your attention-span).

Another excellent site nearby is an authentic Schlotzky's Deli, yeah you laugh now, but just wait 'till you go without free refills for 6 months.

"We must be in East Berlin."

'' Why?"

"It sinks." Absolutely-the next stop was the wall, deteriorating superstar of the city! Coolest thing learned about it? Check out the rounded top, they're actually split sewage pipes that were donated from the West. Instead of using sewage pipes for something like, oh maybe sewage, they were split and placed on the tops of the walls in this section. No alibi for the little twerp and his sign there, but I think it has more to do with satan than UT.

Rode past the, "Chick on the stick,"(name given to pictured historic statue by American GIs', but when the guide said it, I couldn't remember anything else I was laughing so hard). Around the city you could see bullet holes in all the older buildings and walls, reminders of the belligerent past of the fair city.

The city park, known as the Tiergarten, is actually pretty big. There is enough space for the Berliners to have a small area to relax apiece, even the nudists as Cat discovered. Although she couldn't tell if the naked German was chick or dude, she almost wrecked her bike averting her gaze.

Dia del Oso culminated with a Heavenly quest to the divine-real Mexican Food! Indeed we found a salsa worthy, not just ketchup with peppers, but fantastic. So excellent, here is our picture of the chips. Caption reads, "Crazy Delicious."

Sunday was all about going to the places already mentioned except on foot. We started off with the Pergamon museum, which was chock full of ancient Greek statues, friezies and a rebuilt massive temple with a giant-sized depiction of the Olympian Gods dueling it out with the giants of the earth for the heavy weight title of the world. Top notch and totally recommended, they even have some of the gates of Babylon inside this monolithic museum. I am actually holding these pillars together in the picture, centuries of flash photography have reduced them to ruins. YES-illegal photography! I bought an old Russian web-belt outside the museum.

"Baby, this is what the future looks like."

Mid-day we ran along the river Spree for a good 5 mile loop from our hotel to Chick on a stick and back. The route goes through some seriously modern buildings, so efficient, so cold, so German. The buildings are governmental and include the prime minister's house, dubbed the, "washing machine," for its aesthetic.

Sunday night had to be special, something we could only do in the capitol of Germany, we went to the movies. They had ridiculous size drinks, like 500oz or something. They also served delicious beer, standard here, in the theater. After the Pepsi IV and the cool beer injection, nature called and I disappeared into what I thought was the exit. Instead it was a surreal labyrinth of white walls, like Hoth Station.

After a journey, I emerged to the surface almost beneath a lifesize giraffe made out of legos and the roof of the plaza was undulating colors. Yeah-I know how that sounds, but really.

After the flick we had drinks under the light show and lit out for a little Berlin night life.

Holy nuts! The coffee bars and clubs we went into were totally underground-literally. Its like to have an uber-cool bar it has to have a tunnel or a staircase leading down to an uncertain conclusion. But that conclusion is actually rock and it is awesome to discover. One insanely cavernous club compelled us into a frenzied, full hour of Robot(Cat's favorite dance). An ancient German dance based on ordered movements and precise timing, symbolic of the industriousness of the people and they're desire to express.



Monday we rocked out a few more major sights including the Reichstag(actually didn't go up in it due to a garagatuan line), Brandenburg Gate, the Jewish Monument and the Berlin Jewish museum. Napoleon stole the statue on top of the gate at one time, even though it weighs 5 tons. On this very site the greatest party of liberation the German universe has ever known took place. Hasslehof preformed to a crowd of thousands. So Frau Clough and I march through and proceeded on.

The Jewish monument was eerily humbling, seeming passive on the outside, once you enter the uneven surfaces throw you equilibrium all wack. This was the idea, it represents the distortion of concentration camp existence.

The Jewish museum was less holocaust and more a history of the people in Germany. The design is so modern it's confusing at times, but a necessary stop. The basement had this unique exhibit entitled, "Fallen Leaves." A thousand of these metal faces lay on the concrete floor of the cold rough construction, isolation chamber.


As we departed, it was imperative to reflect on the amazing effect that learning the history and seeing the awesome monuments had on us. In celebration of a rich history and a bright future we continue to this day to do the Robot for you Berlin, and for all the German peoples.